Breaking News: Peyton Manning In A Town Near You?

This just in, Peyton Manning has not signed with a team as of yet.  But I hear that he has about as good of a chance signing with a Canadian Football League team than the Miami Dolphins.  And we all know that The Washington Redskins were out of the running a long time ago but who would want to play for them?  Mark off most of the 32 teams in the NFL because he isn’t going to your favorite team if that team isn’t the Tennessee Titans, Denver Broncos, San Francisco 49ers or the New York Yankees but I’ve heard that George Steinbrenner called out from his grave for his Yanks to make a run after him.  That of course led the Boston Red Sox to call Peyton’s agent because we all know that they try to do everything their divisional foes do.  Peyton doesn’t think he could cut it as the next two sport athlete a la Bo Jackson or Deion Sanders though the contract offers are there and I’m sure that he could man third base a little better than Miguel Cabrera up in Detroit.

 

So what’s the news you’ve heard lately?  Will he sign with the Broncos and force Tim Tebow to look for other residential options?  There are millions of women who would gladly offer up their abodes if he needed a roommate because they’d have a better chance of roping him in than ABC’s “The Bachelor” obviously.  Maybe Tebow and Brady Quinn could be a package deal because according to “GQ” they get along great.

 

But you know, he’s going to workout for the Titans.  What does Chris Johnson have to say about that?  Wasn’t it Peyton who kicked Marshall Faulk out of Indianapolis?  There’s just no room in Peyton’s backfield for a high profile back.  He likes more of the Joseph Addai mold whatever that is.  If this is Peyton’s destination, then it doesn’t mean that he wants to win it means that he’s tired of losing to the Titans  over and over again because it always seemed like the final score would always tilt in their favor.

 

The 49ers are the newcomer to the group, though apparently they aren’t having met with him before.  Would he go to San Francisco with their 24 hour Chinese Restaurants and Golden Gate Bridge.  Has Peyton been watching Fox’s show “Alcatraz” and that has influenced his decision?  Come on, Sarah Jones is hot but he’s a happily married man plus he’s already got one mistress, his wife.  The 49ers would be an interesting fit with their recent signing of Randy Moss to go alongside of Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis.  And it would provide a blanket to cover up Kenny Williams Jr. who is still receiving hate mail from STUPID fans.

 

Are these the only three teams that Peyton Manning is thinking of going to or is there some mystery team that is going to walk right up, lay a huge kiss on Peyton’s bank account and introduce him as their new quarterback?  I’m not sure but I care because Peyton has won me more than one Fantasy Football Championship and I want to know if I’m going to follow him to his new team or not.  So Peyton, am I going to keep you or become a life long Cam Newton fan?  I don’t need to know now but it would be great if you could make a decision this millennia.