30 Awesome Nicknames For Current Kansas City Chiefs Players
By Aaron Charles
@aaroncharleskc
30 Awesome Nicknames For Current Kansas City Chiefs Players
A great nickname can be a beautiful thing. They’re a lot of fun and endear the fans to the players. For some reason, there aren’t a lot of nicknames on the Kansas City Chiefs' roster ─ at least none that have caught on.
Next door at Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City Royals fans love doing their Moose call every time Mike Moustakas makes a play or comes up to bat. They also love using one of the great nicknames in all of sports with fan-favorite Billy Butler’s alias “Country Breakfast”. I don’t know why there are no good nicknames for Chiefs players, but I’m going to do my part to change that.
We need to come up with something better than D.J. for LB Derrick Johnson, or the overused Mr. Irrelevant for kicker Ryan Succop. We need names that are weird, memorable, and fun to say like ‘The Muscle Hamster’, except not quite so mean-spirited. For those who don’t know, Doug Martin’s nickname originated in college when his friends were making fun of his muscular-gymnast girlfriend. That’s pretty cruel, which is why Martin doesn’t like the name.
I won’t go that low for a name, but a few of these may be frowned upon by the players. And by all means, if you have any good ideas, please leave them in the comments. Let’s try to come up with something interesting. Nothing is too weird or stupid here, just as long as it isn’t something as boring as D-Bowe.
Aaron Charles is a Kansas City Chiefs writer for www.rantsports.com. Follow him on twitter @aaroncharleskc or add him to your network on Google
30. FB Anthony Sherman: The Sher Thing
Not only is he a sure thing, but he is also sort of built like the Thing from the Fantastic Four.
29. G Jeff Allen: J.A. Shove-N-Stuff
When healthy, Allen can shove and stuff with the best of them.
28. G Jon Asamoah: Awesome-O
It's a South Park reference, but even if it wasn't, it would still literally be an awesome name.
27. QB Tyler 'You Did Some Pretty Stupid Things When You Were Young Too' Bray
Sends a message and rolls right off the tongue.
26. DE Tyson Jackson: T.J. Max
It's not just a department store with reasonable prices anymore.
25. QB Chase 'Stop Calling Me Daniels' Daniel
It's not just fans -- several broadcasters call the Mizzou great by the wrong name as well. Come on commentators, you do one game a week, get the names right.
24. WR Dexter 'Too Tall' McCluster
Because he's not.
23. RB Jamaal Charles: Charles In Charge
Pretty obvious here, but it fits too well. Nobody is more in charge than Charles.
22. LT Branden Albert: The Branchise
This one probably wouldn't be endorsed by Albert himself as it makes light of his very public displeasure with receiving the franchise tag. Unfortunately for Albert, he could get it again next season.
21. S Eric Berry: Crazy Horse
If you haven't seen the viral video documenting Berry's fear of horses, do yourself a favor and Google it. As a Chief, the Crazy Horse name fits on that level as well.
20. LB Derrick Johnson: The No Fly Zone
As one of the greatest coverage linebackers in the league, you do not want to put the ball in the air near Johnson's territory.
19. RT Eric Fisher: Real Big Fish
In case some need it explained, this one refers to the fact that Fisher is real big.
18. TE Anthony Fasano: Fat Tony
It's okay to call people fat when they aren't, and it's also okay to use a Simpsons reference in any situation.
17. P Dustin Colquitt: The Favorite
Colquitt's brother Britton is the punter for the Denver Broncos, and their father Craig used to punt for the Pittsburgh Steelers. As a 2012 Pro Bowl selection, Dustin is clearly better than his brother, and therefore loved more by his father.
16. CB Brandon Flowers: The Killer
Flowers shares a name with the lead singer of the Killers, and his Twitter avatar used to be a picture of Chucky, which he never should've changed.
15. LB Tamba Hali: The Liberian Nightmare
I'm probably not the first person to come up with this one, but it's a great homage to Christian Okoye that deserves to be repeated.
14. LB Justin Houston: 50 Shades of Pain
The 17 football fans who also read that book are going to love this one.
13. DE Mike DeVito: Shark Riot
This one has nothing to do with DeVito or his name -- I just thought a shark riot sounds like something you don't want to mess with.
12. C Rodney Hudson: Rod the Bod
And it's a big one.
11. LB Akeem Jordan: Ground Jordan
Unlike Mike, he brings people to the ground.
10. TE Travis Kelce: TKO
Unfortunately, Kelce has been technically knocked out of most of this season, but he'll be back to earn his nickname.
9. S Kendrick Lewis: Judge Dread
He's not a real judge, but he does have dreads.
8. RB Knile Davis: Jazz Hands
Kansas City is known for jazz, and Davis is known for his hands.
7. TE Sean McGrath: The Crime Dog
This is one of my all-time favorite nicknames and I think McGrath has the right to take it. Sean McGrath sounds more like Scruff McGruff than Fred McGriff. They could also just share the name the way the hundreds of people who call themselves Superman do.
6. G Geoff Schwartz: Yogurt
Nobody knows how to use the Schwartz like Yogurt.
5. DT Dontari Poe: Big Brisket
It had to be something barbeque related. He played college in Memphis, now plays in Kansas City, and as his biggest weakness, he had to eliminate barbeque from his diet before this season. You can't live in Kansas City and avoid it for long, so he will eventually coming running back into barbeque's comforting, delicious arms.
4. CB Sean Smith: The S.S. Interceptor
Because that's his job.
3. WR Donnie Avery: The Prosecuter
His initials are D.A. and it just sounds tough.
2. QB Alex Smith: The Forsaken
In 2012, Smith led the San Francisco 49ers to a 6-2 record before he suffered a concussion. When he was ready to come back, he was no longer wanted. The 49ers cast him out for a younger more exciting quarterback, which has worked out very well for both Smith and Kansas City so far.
1. WR Dwayne Bowe: Double Dwayne Bowe
What does this mean? It's a reference to both the famous double rainbow viral video, and the fact that defenses better double up on Dwayne Bowe.
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