$15 Athletes You\'d Want On Your Side During A Bar Fight$

15 Athletes You'd Want On Your Side During A Bar Fight

By Jerry Landry

15 Athletes You'd Want On Your Side During a Bar Fight

J.J. Watt Houston Texans Intimidating Bar Fight — Come at me, Bro? Not if I have any of these highly-paid hulks of the rink, ring, court, diamond or gridiron at my side. Outside of just about every man, woman and child with professional UFC status, here are the 15 athletes you would like to have in your corner when the fireball gets ol’ “Stink-eye Steve” a little too fired up.

15. Clay Matthews

Clay Matthews NFL Green Bay Packers intimidating

15. Clay Matthews

Clay Matthews NFL Green Bay Packers intimidating — Matthews isn’t the biggest, and isn’t the strongest, but the Green Bay Packers’ linebacker is the most tenacious and instinctual man-beast in recent sports memory. Nobody will be looking for any problems when they see that you’ve formed an alliance with this NFL wildman.

14. Nolan Ryan

Nolan Ryan MLB most intimidating pitcher Ryan Express

14. Nolan Ryan

Nolan Ryan MLB most intimidating pitcher Ryan Express — I don’t care if the Ryan Express is crawling to age 70, I’m still putting this boy named Lynn in my corner. I’ll never forget that brawl with Robin Ventura.

13. Roy Hibbert

Roy Hibbert Indiana Pacers NBA intimidating

13. Roy Hibbert

Roy Hibbert Indiana Pacers NBA intimidating — Hibbert stands 7-foot-2, and if the Indiana Pacers’ center can negotiate the doorframe, you’ll have an asset that’ll grant you complete tough-talk immunity.

12. Nick Saban

Nick Saban Alabama Crimson Tide football intimidating

12. Nick Saban

Nick Saban Alabama Crimson Tide football intimidating — Although Saban may now have the upper-body strength of a French lemur, he’s the most verbally-intimidating sports figure on this list. When the corners of the bar are too dark and cramped for fisticuffs, you’ll be glad you had Saban influencing your enemies to stand down.

11. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Boxing intimidating

11. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Boxing intimidating — Obviously a pro boxer would do well.

10. Bo Jackson

Bo Jackson NFL MLB most intimidating strong

10. Bo Jackson

Bo Jackson NFL MLB most intimidating strong — Bo Jackson was the most remarkable physical specimen of not only the last 30 years, but in all of sports history. Even if he can only manage to break a pool cue over his thigh today, it’ll still be understood that “Bo knows.”

9. Serge Ibaka

Serge Ibaka Oklahoma City Thunder NBA most intimidating

9. Serge Ibaka

Serge Ibaka Oklahoma City Thunder NBA most intimidating — The man’s name is Serge! Isn’t it inherently obvious why Ibaka makes this list?

8. Rob Gronkowski

Rob Gronkowski Gronk New England Patriots NFL most intimidating

8. Rob Gronkowski

Rob Gronkowski Gronk New England Patriots NFL most intimidating — By now, Gronks’ forearms should both be composed of titanium, and the “Gronk Spike” is the world’s best combat finishing-move.

7. Bartolo Colon

Bartolo Colon New York Mets MLB massive

7. Bartolo Colon

Bartolo Colon New York Mets MLB massive — If you can start an MLB game at age infinity, then you can definitely join my security detail. Even though Colon is admittedly old, the Mets’ pitcher is massive, and inertia counts in crowded spaces.

6. Brian Orakpo

Brian Orakpo Washington Redskins NFL Most Intimidating

6. Brian Orakpo

Brian Orakpo Washington Redskins NFL Most Intimidating — Even if my night turned so crazy that I somehow got into a fight with a group of inflamed space-chimeras, I’d still want to enlist the intimidating presence of Brian Orakpo.

5. Victor Martinez

Victor Martinez V-Mart Detroit Tigers intimidating

5. Victor Martinez

Victor Martinez V-Mart Detroit Tigers intimidating — Have you seen how V-Mart glares at opposing pitchers for throwing even a change-up near the inside half? When I’m watching the Detroit Tigers at my home, I still get up and lock the door whenever this happens.

4. Pernell McPhee

Pernell McPhee Baltimore Ravens NFL most intimidating

4. Pernell McPhee

Pernell McPhee Baltimore Ravens NFL most intimidating — Although owning a name that could be featured in the next installment of Harry Potter, Pernell McPhee is a 6-foot-3, 280 pound righter of wrongs. Stand behind McPhee’s broad shoulders and you’ll be as safe as the Pope.

3. Justin Tuck

Justin Tuck Oakland Raiders NFL Most Intimidating

3. Justin Tuck

Justin Tuck Oakland Raiders NFL Most Intimidating — Justin Tuck gets this vote contingent the face-mask stays on! What is that rage-cage made out of anyway? Nightmares?

2. Zdeno Chara

Zdeno Chara Boston Bruins NHL most intimidating

2. Zdeno Chara

Zdeno Chara Boston Bruins NHL most intimidating — “It’s okay Zdeno, bring your skates… this won’t take long!”

1. Ndamukong Suh

Ndamukong Suh Lions Dolphins NFL Most Intimidating

1. Ndamukong Suh

Ndamukong Suh Lions Dolphins NFL Most Intimidating — I won’t even ask the Miami Dolphins’ defensive lineman what he eats for breakfast, because I’m sure it’s anything between “Corn Flakes” and “Jay Cutler’s thoughts.”

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