Ahhh, fantasy sports. The sweet smell of a brand new team. The transcendent triumph (yeah, I thesaurus-ed that word, deal with it) of beating that friend of yours that you have an unnatural need to beat in everything you do (yeah, I’m looking at you, Scott Gleeson).

You can’t top it. And if you’re anything like me, you want more of it. More competition, more chances to win that almighty championship, even if it’s just for pride and there is no trophy or money or anything else tangible at stake.

So, I decided I might as well keep it going and try something new. Something I never dreamed of doing until this year. Something life-altering. Something that goes against everything I believe in. (OK, that last one was just in there for dramatic effect.)

Join a fantasy basketball league.

That’s right. Three fantasy baseball teams and four fantasy football leagues are not enough to satisfy my aberrant (this thesaurus thing is pretty cool) need for competition. So, I joined a couple of fantasy basketball leagues. Just to get my competitive fix. And, I mean, hey, I work for a fantasy sports site. So that probably contributed, too. Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself so I don’t feel like I have to start a new support group for competition addictiveness (I’ve had more than a couple people in my life tell me I’m too competitive—there’s your shout-out, Kristen).

And, since this is the first time I’ve ever even batted my eyes at doing fantasy basketball in my life, I want you all to be along for the ride. So, I will journal my experiences throughout my inaugural season and you can laugh at my idiocy (as if you haven’t already. I know you saw my Top 25 fantasy guarantees post that is NOT turning out how I planned. Thanks, Tony Romo. Get a stronger clavicle. Idiot. I’m completely kidding, Tony’s my man. We share a first name and the same taste in women. How could I ever hate him??).

But, we’ll see who’s laughing at the end of the season. I’m entering two leagues and I fully expect two championships. Learning curve schmurning curve (what ever happened to this sweet wordplay maneuver?)

Hey, I gotta be better at fantasy basketball than I am at real life basketball, right? Let me break it down for you: I got beat by a girl in H-O-R-S-E earlier this summer. I didn’t make a shot. Not one shot. But, in my defense, she did win a three-point competition in high school.

I also am infamous for my no-look passes. People think I’m doing it to try to look like Derrick Rose or Steve Nash, but in reality, I’ve realized I’m so terrible with the ball in my hands that I just chuck it away whenever a defender gets close, whether I’m looking where I’m passing it or not. I am one ravenous rebounder, though. Man, I am just rolling with the alliteration today.

Anywho, enough about my personal life. On to the analysis of my first-ever fantasy basketball draft!!

Team One: Toneston Checks In

League: With a bunch of my friends, Adam Jun is the commissioner
Team Namesake: Most of the same people as my “Toneston Checks In” Fantasy Football league are in this one, so I figured I might as well keep the same name
Pick Number: 9 of 10
What’s at stake: Dolla-dolla bills
Scoring: Head-to-Head Each Category
Scoring categories:
-Points
-Blocks
-Steals
-Assists
-ORebs
-DRebs
-Ejections
-Turnovers
-Three pointers made
-FG Percentage
-FT Percentage
-Triple Doubles

Team:

PG: Russell Westbrook
SG: Jesus Shuttlesworth
SF: Carmelo Anthony
PF: Joakim Noah
C: Dwight Howard
G: Jrue Holiday
G: John Salmons
UTIL: Danilo Gallinari
UTIL: Charlie Villanueva
UTIL: Andre Miller
Bench: Carlos Boozer*
Bench: Evan Turner
Bench: Carlos Delfino

Best Value: Carmelo Anthony 2nd round, 12th pick
Worst Pick: Andre Miller 10th round, 92nd pick
Biggest Surprise Pick: Carlos Boozer 6th round, 52nd pick

Analysis: I’ve officially popped my fantasy basketball cherry. Going into this draft, I actually was hoping I’d get Dwight Howard. I figured he’d help me win blocks each and every week (which is an underrated category) and he’d greatly help out my rebounds (both offensive and defensive) while contributing a lot of points as well. Once I saw that I’d get the 9th pick, I was overjoyed when Howard actually fell to me. I would have thought he’d go earlier.

I was also overjoyed when Melo was still there in the second round. I realize there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding him with where he will end the season and all that, but the dude scores 28 points a game. How could he fall to 12th overall? He’s one of the most dynamic talents in the game and I was lucky as hell to get him with my second pick.

So, then I knew I had a well-balanced team. I had my points, my rebounds, my blocks. It was just time to start rounding out the other categories, like three-pointers and assists. Westbrook satisfied my assists need with my next pick. He’s one of my favorite players in the league and Aggrey Sam, the Bulls Insider for CSNChicago.com told me that when he first saw Westbrook, he originally thought he was better than Derrick Rose. Plus, Westbrook has Durant to dish it to, so he should be good for 8-10 assists a game.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know who everybody is in the league. I watch basketball, but not religiously. I drafted a lot based on the Bulls, obviously, since that’s where my loyalties lie. So, after Westbrook, things started getting a little cloudy.

I grabbed Noah next because it ensured I would get at least one Bulls player and apart from Rose, Noah is obviously the Bull most worth owning. Plus, that locked up the rebounding for me from week-to-week. Noah is an established star still on the rise and I get to see him play every day, so I don’t care how doofy he looks so long as he puts up the numbers for both my fantasy team and my Bulls.

Gallinari was next. To be totally honest with you, I had no idea who he was. I have heard and seen the name, but I couldn’t pick him out on a court of players. No way. But, I needed a three-point specialist, and he was the best left based on last year’s numbers and this year’s projections. I realize that’s not the best way to draft a team, but considering this is my first year, I had to go by numbers and projections to make up for my lack of knowledge about this game.

Boozer was up next, and I’m again glad to get him, even if he’ll miss the first month of the season. He’s a good post threat that will likely average close to a double-double a game once he gets back.

But, in picking Boozer, I sacrificed guards a little bit. In this funky lineup, I have to start at least four guards, plus there’s the three flex positions open. So, I probably reached a bit too much on Boozer as five quality guards (Jennings, Arenas, Wall, Ginobili and Crawford) all went before my next pick. But I just wanted to have another Bulls player and I think Boozer will be great with both Rose and Noah surrounding him.

So I proceeded to get my guard on, selecting Ray Allen-Jesus Shuttlesworth next (satisfying both my three-point need and my need for a famous movie star), followed by Jrue Holiday (‘cause his first name is just sweet as hell and I want to make a bunch of “Holiday” jokes), John Salmons (because he used to play for the Bulls and it’s fun to pronounce the “l” in Salmons) and Andre Miller (because I apparently love point guards).

I rounded out my draft by taking Jonny Flynn (told you I love point guards, plus he was fun to watch at Syracuse), power forward Linas Kleiza (his name is Linas) and power forward Charlie Villanueva (his name just rolls off your tongue. Say it aloud with me—Charlie Villanueva).

But, post-draft, I realized I was kind of an idiot and needed a more balanced roster, so I dropped Flynn (who is also injured) for Evan Turner (to get my Avatar fix on—the dude looks just like one of those blue aliens from “Avatar” except not blue) and Linas for Carlos Delfino (‘cause I like the name Carlos and I had enough PFs, but needed more SG and SF depth).

Final Thoughts

Not sure how this team will end up, but I do feel good after the draft. I have a real balanced team (both positionally and categorically) and there are still quite a few good players worth owning on the waiver wire. I’m most happy I got a couple Bulls, a former Bull and two dudes named Jesus (even if it was fictional) and Jrue.

As the season goes on, I’ll be chronicling my experiences and let you live and learn with me as I continue down my first season of fantasy basketball. If I’m making a move you think is dumb, feel free to shout at me in the comments section below, or via Facebook, Twitter or email (all are below for your viewing pleasure).

Here’s to hoping beginner’s luck is a real thing!

(Team Two to come, draft got delayed until Thursday night)